I Mean It
by Dandilyons
Summary: "I'm glad it was easy for you, Carl. I figured it was a typical Gallagher move. Ya know? Pushing away anyone that could care. Really care. But-But you couldn't even give me the time of day when you got out. Had to watch you traipsing down the hall with Dominique."


Leah was nestled on her porch swing, Her knees with drawn inwards as she swayed. It was uncharacteristically cool for the middle of summer. She was hellbent on enjoying every bit of it. She was halfway through The Great Gatsby, with no real plans for today.

"Fuck!" Fiona growled from across the street. She hastily snapped her phone shut before running a tense hand through her tangle of curls.

Leah was no stranger to the notorious Gallagher clan. She had a fling with Carl shortly after she arrived to the neighborhood. They were too young to really know what it all meant. But he was exciting and cute. What else matters when you're that young? It was short lived, as most young relationships tended to go.

Underneath it all, Carl was sweet. He's the type of person that required a second look. They'd sneak out and sit in the van. His face would be inches from hers as they talked. He'd lazily throw an arm around her thick waist to yank her closer. She'd squeal at his sudden display of strength. "You're fucking beautiful," he'd growl in her ear. He liked all the things she tended to hate about herself. Carl made her feel like she could glow from the inside out.

But Carl was equal amounts of light and dark. When he was thrown in Juvie, she assumed they'd pass the year with notes and visits. Her young heart was overflowing with nothing but hope. Reality hit hard with his one and only letter to her. A wrinkled scrap of paper hastily shoved in an envelope.

"Don't write. Don't visit."

Leah was crushed. Carl wasn't the boy that brought a hot blush to her cheeks anymore. He was another South Side boy consumed with greed and the need to prove himself.

It wasn't easy to avoid him, when he got out early. She remained on good terms with his family. Whenever he came into proximity, she was out of there like a shot. Especially with Dom right on his hip. Still, as she turned to go his eyes followed her anyways. It made her skin crawl. The last thing Leah wanted, was pity from Carl Gallagher.

Fiona's voice roke her out of her daze. "Hey! Leah!" She said jogging over. "You busy?" She asked, nearly breathless.

"Naw," Leah said snapping her book shut.

"Uh, Ian really flaked out on me. He was SUPPOSED to watch Liam. He's not answering his phone. I really gotta get to work. My boss is gonna have my ass if I'm late. You mind watching him? I'll give ya ten bucks. Someone should be back soon. 2-3 hours. Max!" Fiona's voice was filled with desperation.

Leah chewed on her lip and nodded. She wanted to say no. She really did. Despite lingering embarrassment, she knew missing work was rarely an option when you're poor.

Fiona groaned with relief and grabbed Leah's hand, tugging her forward. She rattled off the do's and don'ts of babysitting Liam as the made their way across the street. Rules, she was vaguely familiar with. The door slammed behind them as her eyes fell on Liam. "Leah!" He yelled before clinging himself to her legs. "Hi Buddy," she grinned before picking him up for a hug. "You've gotten so big!"

Fiona glanced up before fishing a ten out of her purse and pressing it into her palm. "You be good okay?" She kissed Liam's cheek with an audible smack. He giggled and held Leah closer.

"Stuff for spaghetti is in the fridge if he gets hungry," said as she slung her purse over her shoulder. "Thank you!" The door's slam rang out through the oddly quiet house.

"What now?" Leah said before ticking Liam's hip. "Trucks!" He cried matter o' factually. She set him square on his feet and nodded. "Alright than! Trucks it is." He scurried around the living-room floor, collecting Hotwheels in his tiny hands. It's been awhile, but not much had changed. Still cluttered. Still homey.

"Here!" He said thrusting a fist full of cards towards her. She sank down to the floor and followed Liam's lead. The thing about playing cards is, explosions are a must. Or at least that's what he had spent the last hour teaching her. "Oh no!" She gasped. She feigned screeching sounds before pushing her car towards his. "Boom," he giggled before running his car into hers. She sighed dramatically. "Ya got me again!" He gave her car an extra bump for good measure.

"Ya hungry bud?"

"Mhmm," he mumbled absentmindedly.

She padded into the kitchen, poking around. She pulled a big pot out of the cupboard and filled it with water. She quickly chopped up peppers and onions before throwing it all in with the sizzling hamburger. "Hmm," she mumbled as she sprinkled salt and pepper into the frying mixture.

Liam crept into the kitchen with a small pail of Legos. He He quickly got to work snapping the toy bricks together. "Oooh! Cool!" she said glancing at his newest creation. She snapped the jar of sauce open and poured it into the pan. Between the hum of the kitchen and the occasional noise from Liam, she was content. She almost didn't hear the door slam. Almost, being the key word.

"Ian?"

"Nope. Wrong Gallagher," a familiar voice called out.

Fuck.

"Please be Lip. Please be Lip," she mouthed silently. Her muscles instantly tightened as tension racked her entire body. She gave the sauce another stir before putting it on simmer.

"Uh, hey? What're you doing here?"

Leah tapped the spoon on the edge of the pan, shaking off the dripping sauce. "Um," she stammered as she turned around. "Fiona had to go to work. Ian didn't show up. So she asked me to watch Liam."

They stood in silence awkwardly observing each other. Gone were the cornrows and baggy clothes. He was taller than last year. Arms had the promise of muscle from under his work shirt. He stared at her from under furrowed brows. She'd changed from the year before. He had a flash to the pudgy girl he'd sneak into the van to see. How good it felt to hold her. Kiss her. Naturally, he glanced at her progressively developed chest. Shifting downwards he could make out the curve of her hips from underneath that sundress. Her curves, her curves, her curves. Even the thought of them caused a lump in his throat. A mixture of guilt and lust. He slowly brought his gaze up to her face. Her pouty pink lips and big green eyes stared back at him.

"So…The spaghetti's nearly done," she said with a slight tremble.

He nodded and sat next to Liam, feigning interest in his project. He kept stealing glances at her. The tension was thick in the air, but Liam was oblivious as he happily played.

"Need any help?"

"Naw," she shook her head before pouring the noodles into the strainer.

"Smells good. I didn't know you could cook," he mumbled into dead air.

She chuckled and shook the strainer. Droplets of steaming water feel freely. "Yeah. Well, I'm a lady of many talents," Leah joked dryly.

"Look," Liam said as he raised a mangled clump of Legos up.

"Speaking of talent!" She gasped. "Liam, you're so good at building things," she said warmly as she enfolded him into a quick hug. Carle missed the warmth in Leah's voice. The way she'd coo and purr in his ear, making him feel like the only man on the earth. "Fuck," he thought bitterly. "I'm so fucking stupid." He tried so hard to be what Dominique needed. Somehow, he always came up short. There never was any pretending with Leah.

"Here ya go, Bud," she said brushing his toys aside. She placed a bowl of pasta in front of the babbling kid.

"Well," she said straightening up. "I'll leave you to it. Food's ready if you're hungry."

"You're going?"

"Mhmm."

She wiped her hands on a spare dish rag before tossing it onto the counter. "Well, she did say until one of you showed up."

"You don't have to go, Leah. C'mon. Stay. Eat with us. Right Liam? You want her to stay, don't you?"

Liam nodded, a mouth full of noodles.

She couldn't look at either of them. Her nerves threatened to swallow her whole. She shook her head sadly before making a break for the door. Unfortunately, Carl was fast.

"Leah.," he said as he caught her in the wrist by the living room. "C'mon. Stay. We should talk. Please," he begged.

She twisted her wrist out of his grip and turned her head away.

"Why?"

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I've missed you."

She snorted indignantly. "You've looked okay to me," she said sitting on the arm of the couch.

"I fucked up. I know that. You know that. Okay? I've just-I've missed you," he growled as he hastily sank down into the arm chair.

"If fucked up means writing that pussy letter. I'd say yeah, you did," she spat.

"I was facing a year. I-I thought it'd be easier," he said quietly.

Her lip quivered slightly before she blinked away the tears threatening to fall. She focused her attention on fidgeting with the hem of her dress.

"I'm glad it was easy for you, Carl. I figured it was a typical Gallagher move. Ya know? Pushing away anyone that could care. Really care. But-But you couldn't even give me the time of day when you got out. Had to watch you traipsing down the hall with Dominique," she said coldly.

"It's not like you've been around Leah. GOD!" He groaned. "Anytime I get near you, you're fuckin' outta there, like I got a disease or something."

"Well, you got your wish Carl. You can't have it both ways," She hissed. "Expect me to come up to you and Dom? 'Excuse me, can I talk to your boyfriend for a sec?'" She mocked spitefully.

He'd never seen her mad before. Truth be told, he couldn't decide whether her wanted to yell at her, or kiss her. Underneath layers of sweetness, she had fire burning.

"Want did you want me to say? 'Hey, I know you don't want me anymore, but I'm in lo-'" She stopped short, realizing what threatened to spill out of her mouth.

"Damn, Damn, DAMN," she silently cursed herself.

Carl shoved himself out of the chair and slowly walked towards her, the tension only growing thicker. He stopped and positioned himself right in front of her. "Finish the sentence," he urged as he stared down at her. His fingers lightly brushed above her knees, sending electricity throughout her body. She shook her head and sighed. "This is stupid," she laughed. "Because if you think for one minute that-"

She was cut off by the familiar sensation of Carl's lips against her own. He lifted her legs, urging them around his waist as he leaned down to deepen the kiss. Leah melted completely into the sensation, grabbing a fist full of his wavy locks. She gasped as he pressed a firm kiss to her neck. She instinctively tightened her legs around his waist, pulling him closer. He gently nipped at her favorite spot, right below her ear. The place only he knew about. Carl was her first kiss. Hell, he was her only kiss. Be that as it may, he never kissed her like this before. Like, his entire life depended on this one kiss.

"Mmm, wait," she purred. "Liam," she said motioning to the kitchen.

"I thought about you the whole time, ya know."

Her hands crept around his neck, as she looked up at him contently.

"In juvie, he continued. "Wondering if you were okay. I missed you. Now, I could give you a million bullshit excuses. But I just… I fucked up. And all I can say is, I'm sorry."

She chewed on the corner of her lip as she considered his apology. He tilted her chin up and leaned in close.

"Hey," he whispered against her lips. "I mean it okay? Fuckin' stupid to let you go." He placed a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. He traveled to her neck as he planted smaller ones along the way. Leah's breath hitched she felt his hot breath in her ear. "I ain't ever making that mistake again. I love you."


End file.
